Diminețile mi s-au schimbat de când ți-ai luat la revedere de la mine. Nu vroiam să pleci și speram măcar să mă iei cu tine, să mai petrecem o zi împreună.
Vroiam să îți mai ating o dată mâinile parfumate și să simt cum sufletele noastre formează o pereche, cum degetele noastre se vor mereu împreună, cum buzele noastre se leagă ca petalele de trandafiri, cum delfinii se bucură în apus de fericirea noastră, de cât de bine era atunci. Atunci când m-ai făcut să mă simt frumoasă. Atunci când numai eu contam pentru tine, când numai tu mă puteai face fericită. Îmi cumpărai cele mai frumoase vise și mi le dăruiai în fiecare noapte. Le simțeam mai presus de toate și vroiam să devin infinit, să devin suportul minciunilor tale și, chiar și așa, vroiam asta cu orice preț. Te vroiam nebunește și nu-mi explic de ce. Erai elementul lipsă care mă ținea ermetic într-un jurnal eșuat, care nu îmi dădea voie să respir decât visele tale. Dar acum nu știu ce vreau, nu știu ce cred, ai decis să pleci crezând că asta te va face să uiți. Dar n-ai să mă uiți, ți-a rămas parfumul meu impregnat în piele și ai să îl simți așa mereu, de acum încolo, până când, probabil, ai să vrei să îmi mai vezi o dată chipul. Dar știi că va fi prea târziu, nu-i așa? Am să te gonesc când ai să te întorci, am să renunț la jurnal și am să îți înapoiez visele, visele care m-au ținut în viață până acum. Am decis că de acum încolo tu vei fi cel care va avea mai multă nevoie de ele. Tu vei fi cel care te vei târî prin noroi ca să-ți recapeți existența, tu te vei fărâmița și vei tânji spre un pian de lumini, vei vrea să crezi din nou în mare, în delfini. Și când vei veni din nou, nu te voi vrea…..
/to be continued/
- Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
- Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
- If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
- Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
- Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
- Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Staple pages in the middle of the page.
- Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
- Honk and wave to strangers.
- Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
- TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- type only in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
“DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
- Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
It’s frustrating how destiny keeps you alive. It gives you joy, it gives you tears, it makes you breath and cry and in the end it breaks your heart. Victor’s different. Always passionate. Victor is everyone that makes me happy. He is sometimes cute and stupid, he is sometimes sad but he knows I can always make him smile. I believe in him and I know that despite the fact he is shy, he always finds THE words to make your heart melt, even in cold winter times. With all his flaws to see, I still love love him. It is a strange feeling but when you start holding on to it, you know you do not ever wanna let it go. It’s logical. It’s just how the world makes room for everything: love, passion, colors, imperfection… being who you are and accepting it.
Ayways, I love porky people, I do. That’s something I never told anyone before. I love porky people that accept who they are, how they look, who love their hips and thighs (as big as they are) their tummies or big noses, their freckles, their un-manicured nails, or their dirty fingers after a whole day of working; people that do not have cars and enjoy traveling by bus or simply walk and feel the air on their skin, who are not afraid to ask questions and always speak their mind, people that don’t care about what others say or think, people that don’t give a shit about bad weather and keep on loving each other no matter what. People that are creative, and by that they make their life worth living. People that love other people. ❤
Yesterday it was this thing that came to my mind – Turkish Toilets. I remembered I always hated and I will always hate this fucking Turkish Toilets. When I was little, and went to kinder garden, we had to shit in those thingies and were always afraid not to accidentally fall on our own poop. I wonder if people actually feel comfortable using them. I know it is probably safer and more hygienic but for fuck’s sake, they really need a bigger hole. You people really need to aim where to shit, and need to be focused to do that??? Coz it’s pretty hard knowing that we don’t actually have eyes attached to our bum. Or they are probably designed for pros who know exactly where the hole is and when to move more to the left or to the right, in order not to clean it after. Or, they like smelling and seeing each other’s turd ??
Yeah well… It’s not like I am going to write the story of my life here,but in the past few weeks a lot of things happened and my life changed. I met people I care about now, I realized friends are not your friends without conditions, I realized that getting involved in a friendship might turn out bad for you, most of the times.So, here’s where the phrase “Be careful who your friends are” applies. But still, they also say “if something goes wrong, something else will rock” and yes, it did. I lost a friend,if I can say that, but I won a wonderful person instead. It’s funny how life gives you options, and mind to know how to choose them. I did,and I am not sorry. Even tho these “different worlds” we live in are far away, feelings are not. I care about feelings and I decided to go on choosing what’s actually best for me. At the moment, that’s my best. xxxx